i'm so lost that its not even funny how lost i am.
i never expect it to happen to me so soon.
an i havent cried like this for the longest time.
and i dont think i'm stopping anytime soon.
i'm not ready for this.
not at a age like this.
i'm not prepared to lose a father.
not even one who was never there by my side.

i've cried so much that my eyes are swollen after a hours.
i've got tissue paper piled up like mountains.
and i just feel like shutting myself in and never coming out.
and i don't know what to do.
but thank you.

sean for answering my call after so many calls.
audrey for being who you are.
jo for being there even though she was sleeping like a pig.
i love you all.

i need to stay strong.
stronger than i am ever prepared for.